Banarama at The Garage, October 2009
Recently, over on The Guardian music site there was an article called The Worst Gig We Ever Played where musicians described their worst gigs (the Bubba Sparxxx gig is pure gold!). It made me think, what was the worst gig I have ever been too. What was the one howler which was so bad it still makes me cringe with fear.
Well that one gig was a Banarama gig. Yes, I went and saw the 80s band Banarama… let me explain how it happened first. I have a philosphy; free is free. Simple. If something is free and I have the time, 9/10 times I will go along. You might miss something great and you’re not losing anything really. I saw an e-mail which offered free tickets to a Banarama gig, to win all you had to do was sign up to some mailing list. I guess not many people signed up because I go the tickets. Being free, I decided to go.
It turned out to be a car crash of a gig. The two remaining members stumbled on stage seemingly more drunk than one of those teenagers on Binge Drink UK. They were like sitcom aunties at a wedding. Laughing pointlessly, trying to be crude and risqué but sounding like intoxicated twelve year olds.
Then there was the stage show, cue buff metrosexual guys half there age gyrating in the background to each song. Sara & Keren touching muscles and getting overly excited at any available opportunity. At one point they started doing a bloomin’ conga line. It was Carry On The Live Show, all we needed was Barbara Windsor running around in a bra!
Then there was the poor excuse they called music. Oi ya yoi. The gig was in support of their new album. Personally, I think they should have stayed in retirement. Not a single song was memorable and the draining Euro-Pop sound made David Guetta look like Mozart!
After about 25 mins I made a trip to the bar, down a few rather large Sambucas to try and destroy the memories and left while they were molesting one their dancers’ left butt-cheeks.
I still will check out the majority of free things put my way… however I now think, is it really worth sleepless nights and cold sweats.